Love Me!
by ImmaGirl
Summary: Edward Cullen: He's emo. He's hardcore. He's just misunderstood. Bella Swan: She doesn't take no for an answer. She's…different. What happens when these two crazy teenagers meet? The possibilities are endless.


**Love Me Emo Boy!**

**A/N: What's up? Oh, really? That's cool. Anyway, this is a random ass idea that I just HAD to post. I can't promise that you will love this or even be entertained. I can, however, promise that this story will blow. You. Away. Whether that be a good kind of blown away or a bad kind, I don't know. **

**WARNING: The author of this fanfiction story is a moron and sometimes makes little to no sense at all. She also makes many, many mistakes! If you are looking for angst, you ain't gon' find it here. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**Chapter1: If You Are Reading This, You Are a Turd**

**BPOV**

"Hurry the hell up! Your gonna be late on your first day if you keep ogling yourself in the mirror!" I rolled my eyes at the voice screeching up the stairs. Women… what more can I say? Can't live with them and can't get away from them.

"Don't get your panties all in a twist. I'm almost done here!" I yelled through my closed door. I grabbed my black baseball cap from my dresser and placed it on my head and did a little twirl in front of my full body mirror.

My face had little makeup on it, just your basic mascara and eyeliner. I don't like to over do it, especially since I have my right cheek pierced right over the dimple. I have other piercings as well, but I don't like to wear them all at once. I had on my favorite deep red tank top and tight black tripp pants that stopped just above the knee. They had various chains hanging in odd places but I still loved them. I grabbed my black _Bullet for My Valentine_ zip up hoodie from my bed and ran down the stairs feeling _super excited_ for my first day at a new school. _Please take notice to the heavy sarcasm._

I really wish I didn't have to start at a new school. I was perfectly happy at my old one back in New York with all my gang friends and such. _Just kidding!_ I wasn't in a gang… well, I mean, I didn't kill people. _Anyway_, the only reason we had to move to this small town - or is it a village? Does it even have enough people to qualify as a town? Oh, well, this is so getting off topic. The only reason we had to move here was because my dad is a selfish bastard. He is a police officer and such alike. His boss offered him some kind of promotion but wanted to transfer him here, to good old Forks Washington as the chief of police because the last one was shot and killed by a delinquent. Or he retired, I don't really know, I wasn't really paying much attention to him. I think I was thinking about porn or something. The fact of the matter is, daddy took the job and bigger paycheck and moved my little family to Crapsville.

My little family consists of three people. Charlie, that's my daddy, also known as the life ruiner as of late. Then there is my mommy, Renée, also known as '_is this bitch on crack?'_ Then there is me, the loving and amazing daughter, also referred to as the spawn of the devil. Yep, my family is fucking awesome. Bitches be gettin' jealous...

"Isabella! Hurry the hell up!" my mom screamed just as I turned the corner from the stairs into the kitchen. Maybe not jealous, per say...

"Didn't you know that swearing at your children is considered bad parenting," I commented as I walked over to the fridge for my morning juice. Gotta has me some OJ or I am just not a happy person to be around. And when I ain't happy, no one is. It is one of the many facts of life. Learn it, live it, love it, that's what I say.

"Didn't you know that I could beat the crap out of you?" she shot back with a mock scowl. Some would think that mine and my mother's relationship is a bad one. Oh, boy are those people wrong. We are just really close. We treat each other more like best friends than mother and daughter. I am not ashamed to admit that my mommy is my bestie. Sometimes she gets all mom-like, but that is rare. She cool.

"I know you can, mommy dearest. But did you know I pack a pocket knife? Don't fuck wit it," I said crossing my arms and shaking my head from side to side like those rude diva bitches. My mom just laughed at my poor imitation of a _gangsta chick _and flicked some water at me.

"Get out. Go to school. Stay out of trouble," she commanded. I grabbed my orange juice and walked over to the back door, putting on my red high top converse with black laces. I have many pairs of shoes with various colored laces. I'm just cool like that. Before I opened the door, I turned to her and stood up straight.

"Aye aye, captain!" I shouted and saluted her in a jerky motion. I saw her reach for something and turned tail and ran the hell out of there. She has no qualms about throwing shit at me. I know from lots and lots and lots of experience.

I jogged down the porch and over to my most prized possession, other than my ipod of course. Oh, and my little flippy phone. OH, and my laptop. Okay, so it isn't my most prized possession, but it is definitely up there in the top twenty or so. My motor scooter! I am not quite sure if there is a better name that they are called by so I came up with my own. I call it, 'My Totally Awesome Dude Magnet.' You wouldn't believe how many guys check me out on this thing. Granted, they are sometimes laughing, but… yeah. The laughing could have something to do with the frilly pink things hanging from the handlebars. _Whatever. _I know they are just secretly jealous of how secure I am with my sexuality.

My scooter is pretty damn cool though, I must admit. I don't really know what the color is but I think it is somewhere between green and blue. I don't know. IT IS COOL! That is all that matters. I took out my ipod and popped in the earphones and blasted some _Bowling for Soup_, then hopped on the extremely uncomfortable seat of my dude magnet and took off to school. I bobbed my head along with _My Next Ex-Girlfriend _and threw up the peace sign to whoever looked at me_._ I was barely even through the song when I pulled into the parking lot. Like I said, not a big town I am living in. I hopped off my scooter and went to grab my backpack from the small floor of it. But I noticed that something was off. My backpack!

_Fuck! _Did I seriously forget that? Dammit! What kind of idiot am I? I slapped the palm of my hand to my forehead and stomped my foot, thoroughly pissed off at myself.

"You idiot! You fucking idiot!" I yelled, temporarily forgetting where the hell I was. Once I remembered, I nearly shit myself. I lifted my head and scanned the small parking lot. Almost, if not all, eyes were on me. Staring. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. It isn't that I hate the attention, I just don't like to be judged when I am having one of my crazy outbursts. Yes, I have those quite a lot. I need to think of a way to turn this situation around.

_Quick. What does my mom say to do in a situation as uncomfortable as this? Hmmm... oh, right! _

"Fuck off!" I said loud enough for the people to hear. I flipped them all the bird and headed for the office with my head held high. Whenever my mom is in an uncomfortable situation and people are staring, she just tells them all to suck it then walks away with pride. She's a smart woman. Fer sure, fer sure. My role model.

The office wasn't very difficult to find since this school isn't that big. I walked in and immediately regretted it. I mean seriously... Immediate regret. I stood at the door, with my hand still on the handle, staring with my jaw dropped and my eyes wide open. I have never seen anything so unpleasing to the eyes in my whole life long!

"Oh, goodness!" the lady behind the desk screamed, startled when she finally noticed me in the room. She had her chubby arms wrapped around the neck of a skinny man in a suit, who currently has his tongue in the woman's ear with his eyes on me. He seemed to be frozen in place, as were the rest of us.

"Ho-ly shit cakes," I muttered, breaking the intense silence. The man seemed to snap out of his trance and pulled away from the woman quickly, nearly knocking her over in the process. _Jerk. If ya gonna stick yo tongue in a bitches ear, you bess have da decency to be a gentleman._

"Um, you are?" he asked hurriedly as he rushed from behind the desk, over to me. I took a step back, not sure what to do so I just went with the flow.

"Uh, B-Bella. I'm Bella. I'm n-new," I stuttered out and looked away from them at the wall of pictured across from me.

"Bella…?" he drawled out, moving his hands in a circular motion, I am guessing to get me to elaborate.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Bella Swan."

"Oh, yes! I remember. Um… sorry about…" he gestured around wildly and chuckled humorlessly. _Me too, man. Me. Too!_

"Riiight." I didn't know what the hell to say. The awkward silence lasted for another minute or so before I broke it. "Um, this is really effing embarrassing," I laughed awkwardly as I took my earphones out and placed them in my pocket along with the ipod, music long forgotten anyway. "Can I just get my schedule and get the hell outta here?" The man in front of me seemed to break out of yet another trance and jumped suddenly, nearly scaring the shit out of me. _Good thing it was only nearly scared outta me. We don't need no more sticky situations in this room. Cue baby barf._

"Yes! Of course. I am Mr. Greene, the principal. That woman over there is Ms. Cope." he pointed to the flustered woman, not looking at her. "She will help you with whatever you need. I need to… go." he said before I could say anything to him, and took off. I turned to Ms. Cope with a small and forced smile. She smiled back and cleared her throat.

"Okay, Bella. I have your schedule right here and some papers that you need to get signed by all of your teachers." I grabbed everything from her and turned to leave. Happy as all hell to get the fuck outta there. Before I could leave, Ms. Cope called my name. I turned unwillingly in her direction and waited for her to speak.

"Could you not tell anyone what you seen in here, please?" she pleaded. Her desperation tugged at my heart strings so I decided to throw her a bone.

"Lady, I don't even want to remember it." with that said, I took off, all too happy to get the fuck outta that hell hole. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to call my mom and ask her to get off her lazy ass and bring me my backpack, but before I could, I noticed that I had two texts from her already.

_**Forget something shit head?**_

_**XxMommy Dearest**_

I rolled my eyes and scrolled over to the next one. Of course she found it already. It was on the couch where she spends most of the day. How could she miss it? _The lazy bitch._ I mean that with the utmost respect.

_**I was in a hurry so I gave your backpack to one of the students. Love you.**_

_**XxMommy Dearest**_

My eyes widened when I read the last text. Are you fucking kidding me? What is wrong with that woman? Who gives their daughters backpack to some random stranger? I have my fucking jolly ranchers in there! I took off at full speed toward the parking lot, hoping to see someone with my jolly ranchers. I'll kill the bastard! I swear it! I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice the person turning the corner the same time as me, so I ended up knocking hard into him and fell straight on my ass. Saying it hurt would be an understatement. It fucking... hurt a lot. Yeah.

"Fuuuuck," I moaned out and reached down to rub my butt where I fell on it.

"Oh, shit. You okay?" a hand shot out in front of me so suddenly, I jumped, startled. Oh, shit-sticks, did this dude see me rub my booty? That would be really effing embarrassing. I looked up into a pair of amused blue eyes. I know, I know, how can eyes look amused? I don't know, they just do. He laughed under his breath and offered me his hand again. I took it this time and he helped me up.

"Sorry bout that, sugar," he drawled out in some kind of sexy cowboy accent. I stepped away from him and checked him out, not very discreetly. What can I say, if Imma do something, Imma go all out.

He had curly jet black hair that fell just over his ears, ice blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. Though any skin looks tan compared to mine. I am like an albino chick. He wore a tightly fitted black t-shirt and light denim jeans that hugged his oh so muscular thighs, and black steel toed cowboy boots.

_Oh. My. Damn! What a sexy mafucker. Mmmmm-mmmm!_

I noticed something else about him as well that turned my blood cold and my heart to racing. He held in his right hand, an electric blue backpack with sharpie writings all over it and a hello kitty keychain.

"That is mine," I pointed out plainly, eyeing my bag. _Bitch betta notta touched my jollies!_

"Oh, yeah. I was just looking for you. I didn't know what you looked like, but I decided to just wing it. I-"

"Did you eat my jolly ranchers?" I interrupted him and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look menacing. If he ate my jolly ranchers, Imma go all Bruce Lee on his southern ass. He looked slightly taken aback for a second, but then leaned over and started laughing like what I said was the most hi-fucking-larious thing he ever heard.

_Oh, the nerve! _I grabbed my bag from his limp hand and opened it, searching for my stash. I sighed in relief when I seen the colorful bag of goodies. I took out a blue one and popped it into my mouth. The guy in front of me finally stopped laughing like a fucking hyena and looked over at me.

"No, ma'am, I sure didn't." he smiled charmingly down at me and held out his hand. "The name is Whitlock, Jasper Whitlock," he said in what I presumed to be a bad imitation of Bond, James Bond.

I Debated on whether to tell him my name or not. He is a cutey but I don't think I like him. I don't like being laughed at. I thought about it for a few more seconds and finally decided on what the right approach would be here. I grabbed onto his hand firmly and looked him in the eye.

"The name is Fey, Tina Fey," I mimicked his poor James Bond act. He looked confused for about a second but then he just shrugged and looked over my shoulder.

"Well, it was sure nice meetin' ya Miss Fey," he said tipping his imaginary hat. "I should be goin' though, my lady awaits." he said nothing else as he turned to leave, it seemed he had eyes only for whoever was somewhere behind me. I nodded my head anyway and turned to watch him walk away like the loser I am.

I noticed a group of beautiful people. Yes. Beautiful people, standing just a few feet away from me. Some were looking at Jasper; some were studying me with amused expressions on their angel like faces. The cowboy scooped up some midget looking girl, not really, but she is pretty damn tiny, and placed a kiss on her cheek. I saw him whisper something in her ear, turning her cheeks a light pink.

_Of course he is taken. Why wouldn't he be? WHY? _I sighed, feeling just a little bit disappointed and turned to keep walking down the hallway, not quite sure where the hell I was going.

"Hey, Tina! Tina! Hey, Tina…" someone kept yelling irritatingly down the hallway. _Damn, Tina. Answer the fool already. _I was so lost in my own head that I didn't hear the footsteps following close behind me until a hand fell on my shoulder, scaring me and bringing out my violent side. I jumped away and slammed my hand behind me, connecting it with whatever I could find. _Don't fuck with me! I really do pack a pocket knife. It is pink and small, but deadly when used with force, fuckas!_

"Oh, oh. Shit." I turned around to see Jasper hunched over with his face contorted in pain and grabbing at his crotch. His friends, the beautiful people, were rushing over to us. I brought my left hand up to my mouth and bit my nails nervously.

"Jazzy! Are you okay, honey?" the tiny girl, I assume it is his girlfriend, ran up to him, scowling at me the whole way. _Oh, looky, I already made an enemy. I'm not surprised. I tend to do that. Peeps just can't handle all a dis!_

I looked around at the people surrounding me and the cowboy and was literally stuck for words. Muscles, muscles everywhere! Hot guys. Even hot chicks! Maybe Forks ain't so bad after all.

"Yeah, I'm good, I'm good," he ground out between clenched teeth. After a few more moments, I don't fucking know how long, he stood up straight and winced. Everyone now had their eyes on me. Should I flip them off and stomp away? Before I could make up my mind, however, Jasper spoke up.

"I was just going to ask if you needed any help or guidance to your classes since you are new, but now that you got all hands-on with my nuts, I may just take back the offer." he winced again as if to demonstrate the damage I caused his little dudes.

"Oh… oopsy," I said lamely, shrugging it off. The people around me all stared blankly at me for a moment before busting out laughing like morons. I just stared at them, not quite sure what to make of this. I looked over my shoulder, then back at the group of cackling idiots.

"Oopsy?" the tiny girl asked in a shrill voice when she finally calmed down enough from laughing at me. "You almost break my boyfriend's balls and, and y-you say…" she couldn't even finish her sentence because she fell back into a fit a girly giggles, almost loud enough to bust my damn eardrums.

_Damn, I didn't think it was THAT funny. These people need to get out more. _

"I think you people need to get out more," I said rudely and crossed my arms over my chest, feeling slightly offended that they were just openly laughing at me like this. I am a human being with feelings and stuff! Assholes!

"Sorry, Tina," Jasper said once he came up for a breather.

"Who?" I asked. They all looked at me like I was crazy. _Oh, I'm the crazy one, huh? My psychiatrist says that I am almost completely sane! Do you people have a psychiatrist to tell you that? Didn't think so!_

"You're Tina, ain't ya? That's what ya told me, isn't it?" Poor Jasper asked, looking so confused. Then it finally hit me why he would be so confused. _Ooooh. I forgot I did that. My bad._

"Uh, yup, that'd be me," I said with a shrug of my shoulders, deciding to just go with it. I wonder how many people I could convince that my name is Tina. Oh, the possibilities…

"Right, so anyway, you need any help?" he asked, looking to be in less pain than before, his voice only sligtly high now. I took my schedule out of my hoodie pocket and studied it for a moment. Should I give my pride a break and ask for help from the guys whose balls I smashed? _Hmmm…_ it'd probably be for the best. Why the fuck not? I handed him my schedule and he looked it over quickly.

"Oh, hey, you have your first class with Edward. Edward, man, be a gentleman and escort this _nice_ lady to her first class of the day," he spoke over his shoulder to someone behind him. He moved out of the way to the guy through and ho-o-o-ly crap in a bottle. _Cue panty dropping. _

Standing behind Jasper was the sexiest piece of man meat that I have ever laid eyes on. He stood with his shoulders hunched and his hands stuffed in his pockets. His hair was a mess all over his head and it was an odd penny like color. His beautiful green eyes were glaring over at Jasper. _Oh, baby, move that sexy glare on over to me!_

His eyes were rimmed lightly wit black eye-liner. Never thought that I would find that sexy, but, _ugh_. He had on a tight black t-shirt with the words _'If you are reading this, you are a turd.' _written in an obnoxious blue. His legs were covered in black denim skinny jeans and on his feet was a pair fucking combat boots.

_Fucking kill me now or I will jump his ass, I swear I will! __I want him! I want him! I want him! Oh, goodness, my ovaries are burning._

"Fine," was all he said before walking straight forward and past me.

"He's a dick, but he's cool…sometimes. Just follow him," Jasper told me and pointed to the fast moving form of sexy man.

"You don't have to tell me twice," I muttered under my breath and I took off after him as fast as I could and I could hear the silent laughter coming from behind me and following me down the hallway.

_Hopefully I am not being too obvious…_

**I am an idiot. I know. Well, what ya thinking? Tell me, tell me! I won't update unless I get 100 reviews! Just joking! Hahaha. I am one funny bitch. Emo Edward rules! **


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